Tag Archives: writer problems


6 Dec

Hi all! I’m hoping you can all help me out..as you may or may not know I am in my final (woohoo!) year at USC in the Professional Writing program. Recently, thanks to this program, I was published on Grand Central Market’s (of downtown LA) website, promoting the reimagining of the market. As part of the competition, we are asking for people, LIKE YOU, to vote on our bylines. The winner receives dinner for 10 and some pretty badass bragging rights, so I’d be super grateful if you could go here:


And vote for yours truly (actually it’s under my pen name, Kelsey Farrell, but y’all get the drift). Voting starts TOMORROW and goes through DECEMBER 11. If you help a sista out you may even get to be one of my ten that I invite to Eggslut in Los Angeles for dinner. Eh, eh?

Spread the word (please share! Did I mention the badass bragging rights? C’mon yo.) and THANKS!



Top 50 Literary Magazines

21 Oct

Top 50 Literary Magazines

A complete and growing list of the literary magazines available for submissions as well as a list of the Top 50 with descriptions and reasons for their place in the lineup. 

You Know You’re A Writer When…

7 Oct

I just realized that I referred to french fries in my essay as “sexy little things” and then proceeded to personify them as golden tanned and oiled beach babes.

I need sleep.


The Reason Writers Have A Hard Time Admitting To Being Writers

6 Oct

If writers spoke about other people’s professions the way other people speak about writing.


Before They Were Writers

5 Oct

Before They Were Writers

My name is Kelsey and I’m a cocktail server.

“Hi, Kelsey.”

I’ve never been ashamed to be a cocktail server, in fact I have always kind of enjoyed being able to do well in a job where I get to meet new people (even if most days I have convinced myself of otherwise) and the perks of working somewhere where I get to indulge (occasionally) on high end tequilas and whiskeys has never been half bad either–to quote Hemingway: “Write drunk; edit sober.” Dually noted Ernest. 

Here, fellow bloggers, I provide for you a list of odd end jobs that those of our ilk (albeit higher) took part in prior to their lives as literary geniuses. 




Neil Gaiman’s Advice to Aspiring Writers

4 Oct

Neil Gaiman’s Advice to Aspiring Writers

Neil Gaiman’s Advice to Aspiring Writers:

  • “If you’re only going to write when you’re inspired, you may be a fairly decent poet, but you will never be a novelist — because you’re going to have to make your word count today, and those words aren’t going to wait for you, whether you’re inspired or not. So you have to write when you’re not “inspired.” … And the weird thing is that six months later, or a year later, you’re going to look back and you’re not going to remember which scenes you wrote when you were inspired and which scenes you wrote because they had to be written.”
  • “The process of writing can be magical — there times when you step out of an upper-floor window and you just walk across thin air, and it’s absolute and utter happiness. Mostly, it’s a process of putting one word after another.”
  • “You have to finish things — that’s what you learn from, you learn by finishing things.”
  • “If you like fantasy and you want to be the next Tolkien, don’t read big Tolkienesque fantasies — Tolkien didn’t read big Tolkienesque fantasies, he read books on Finnish philology. Go and read outside of your comfort zone, go and learn stuff.”
  • “Tell your story. Don’t try and tell the stories that other people can tell. Because [as a] starting writer, you always start out with other people’s voices — you’ve been reading other people for years… But, as quickly as you can, start telling the stories that only you can tell — because there will always be better writers than you, there will always be smarter writers than you … but you are the only you.”

Ryan Gosling is there for you:

3 Oct

Ryan Gosling is there for you:

Thanks Ryan, I appreciate it.


Five great writing tips from JK Rowling

3 Oct

Five great writing tips from JK Rowling

Bestselling author of Harry Potter, JK Rowling, shares here top five writing tips.

Zombies & Doctor Seuss: A Poem

1 Oct

“You’ve got brains in your head, and some toes in  your shoes,

But I’d start with your eyes if I could so choose.

You’re on your own, and you’re scared that we know,

Wait all you’d like, you have nowhere to go.

You sit atop your house, above us all,

You know that we are waiting to cushion your fall.

But cushion we won’t instead we would move,

giving your brains plenty of splatter room.

And if you should fall, then know without fail, 

I will collect all of your insides in a shiny grey pail.

I will take them back home and set the table,

And you’ll be wishing my friend that zombies were just a fable.

Your eyes like I said, are so good to me dead,

But I think that I would flavor the taste instead.

So to the bottom of my gin and soda they will go,

Before I pluck them out with my fingers like so.

And from there I will move to your stomach and heart,

The eating of flesh you see requires an art.

Come on down, there’s no time to waste,

I have many more unwilling humans to taste.”


-Kelsey Elise, Fleshy Fables, 2012